The Deep End

"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." - D. Thompson

I have been described as brave, outgoing, and fearless... all adjectives which I think only have a smidge of truth to them. I guess one could call my relocations all over the country brave... I call them "safe" as each was made to ensure I kept my job.  And I suppose I could be called outgoing... as long as I'm not in a crowded room (I'm fine one-on-one, but add 10 and I immediately find a corner to hide in). And fearless? Hardly. I overanalyze everything! If I were to describe myself, I would say I'm cautious, awkward, and analytical. Funny how we see ourselves, right?

Last month, I attended a conference headlined by Giuliana Rancic. Having always been a huge fan of hers, I was very excited to hear her speak. I was not disappointed. She was warm, charismatic, and funny! Although she was talking to a couple thousand of us, she could have just as easily been talking to a small group. She was amazing! She talked about her childhood, and how discouraging her teachers were when she told them about her dreams (my high school counselors were the same to me). She also talked about how being good at something doesn't mean that it's something you should be doing. This really hit home - should you do what you love? Or should you do what you're good at? Are they the same thing?

Giuliana talking at lunch (stupid plant blocked the view)

Following that speech, I decided one thing was for sure - I was going to step more outside of my comfort zone. First step? Meeting my super cool internet friend Pinky Lovejoy at this event called The Hollywood Show. We had been tweeting about it for a while, and although I was initially a little shy about attending... I decided I HAD to go. I did not regret it! We had so much fun. Not only did I get to meet several of my favorite actors from my childhood (Loni Anderson, Lou Ferrigno, Keith Coogan, Jeremy Miller, Diane Ladd, etc), I got to hang out with one of them! Keith Coogan is the now fiancé of my friend, so we spent the majority of the day hanging out with him and helping him out with his booth. He is the coolest! While I was initially super shy and awkward around everyone, I quickly got comfortable and had a great time! Thanks, Pinky, for inviting me and making me more at ease!

Me and The HULK!

Diane Ladd - Loved her in so many films, but especially in Enlightened. Buy her book - it's great!

Keith and me - such a nice guy!

The super cute Pinky Lovejoy herself!

Shortly following the event, my friend Pinky started to talk me into attending the LAPD Celebrity Poker Tournament held at the Saban Theater. Several actors that she knew that I liked were going to be there, and the funds raised were going to a great cause. I was initially hesitant - she couldn't go, I didn't know anyone else that was going, and it was all the way back in LA. After several days of texting back and forth, I decided to go. Best - Night - Ever! Not only was everyone at the event friendly, I got to meet my favorite actor from my favorite show! And he was super cool! I met some tremendous people, celebrities and not, and floated on cloud nine for the entire week afterward. Stepping out of my comfort zone is proving to pay off in droves!

Scenes from the LAPD Poker Tournament

Michael Cudlitz, C. Thomas "Tommy" Howell, and my Peyton Manning signed mini helmet

In an effort to live for what makes me happy, I have kicked off a number of projects that will put me where I want to be a year from now. I recently started running again (Couch to 5K - proving how out of shape I really am), took up two fitness challenges at work, and started working on a side project that I hope will turn into a business a year from now. I made a difficult decision to not take an opportunity that would have required me to relocate (again), and I've never been happier! I have changed my perspective on so much in such a short period of time - I am excited for the journey I am taking. It's not always easy to dive in the deep end, but once you prove you can do it - you feel tremendous! Guess we'll soon see how this works out for me!

Until next time...

--- Becks

Songs for a Rainy Day

Ok, so it was 95 degrees outside and sunny, but it was sure rainy in my heart. Like a lot of people, music means a lot to me. I use music to wallow in sadness when I'm down, to dance my shoes off when I'm happy, and to express my opinion when words don't say enough. Yesterday was a fun and still somewhat sad day. It was fun because I had a great workout, had an even better drive, and got to hang out in LA in celebration of a friend's birthday. It was sad because my favorite TV show - the only show I have ever felt passionate enough about to write about and advocate for - was canceled unceremoniously by its network. I'm glad I had to leave shortly after the announcement - I would have wallowed a bit in my disappointment for sure. My disappointment became outright anger when I logged on later in the evening and discovered they hadn't even had the decency to tell the show's stars before announcing it on Twitter. Completely classless (for those who have no idea what I'm talking about, the show is "SouthLand" and the horrible network is TNT, which I will be boycotting from now on). 

Anyway, a girl I follow on Twitter was posting the top five songs that make her cry. Her songs were some of my favorites, and got me to thinking about songs that reflect how I'm feeling in reaction to yesterday. These songs reflect all parts of yesterday, the happy and the sad. While these are not my favorite songs of all time, they are great songs just the same and I hope that you enjoy them. 

This song will forever remind me of my childhood, and is the perfect soundtrack for long road trips - especially in California. It is the perfect mix of hedonism, entrapment, and harmony in the most deliciously seductive way. The lyrics in the above video are not perfect, but the pictures are amazing.

My brother got me hooked on Imagine Dragons last summer, and I'm oh-so-glad he did. The song is not only catchy, it's uplifting and will definitely appear on my summer mix again in 2013.

Yes, John Mayer is a douche, but he's also a masterful guitarist and musician. This is by far one of my favorite songs of his, and means a lot to me personally. I spent the bulk of my late 20s living to work instead of working to live. It took finally moving to California in 2011 to understand and appreciate the benefit of the latter.

This song is beautiful, and could have easily plopped into the 80s as much as it has today. I relate to this song in so many wonderful ways... I'm glad someone finally penned it. I sometimes feel I never do enough, but sometimes good to appreciate when you're not the problem too.

My own love song/goodbye song to my favorite TV show. "May you return to love one day... well I hope and I pray... you get what you gave...." Sad it went out the way it did, but appreciate the 5 beautiful seasons it gave us while it lasted. 

Until next time...

--- Becks

Happy Thoughts

It's a little before midnight, and my mind is racing. It's racing with thoughts about tomorrow, thoughts about today, and thoughts about the weekend. There is simply too much for my brain to process, and I need to decompress so I can go to sleep before a big day tomorrow. Rather than sit here thinking - thinking - thinking, I decided to go through old pictures and find pictures that make me happy. 

About a month ago, I wrote a blog post reviewing my bucket list. When I was writing that post, I realized how many dreams I had realized that I had never written down. Bucket lists are fun, but the unexpected surprises life has brought me have given me a lot of joy too. Here are some such surprises:

A random trip to Los Angeles with my best friend - easily one of the best vacations I've ever taken.

A trip later that same year to San Diego with another best friend - best birthday ever!

Flew 200,000 miles in one year without leaving the USA. This included moving to New Orleans, and visits to Mississippi, Alabama, Chicago (IL), Tampa (FL), New York City (NY), San Francisco (CA), Sacramento (CA), Scottsdale (AZ),  Lake Tahoe (CA), Reno (NV), and several trips to New Mexico.

My first Saints football game - with seats in the suite!

First visit to New York City (with another trip less than 2 months later)

Front row seats to Boyz II Men (dreamed about this since I was 12 - finally realized at 28)

Attending my first Mardi Gras - and throwing beads from the best balcony on Bourbon!

Having the privilege to manage properties in beautiful western Wyoming 

(and staying in Park City, UT almost every trip!)

First visit to Disneyland on my 30th birthday, with a first visit to DisneyWorld with my best friend for her 30th!

After many trips to Vegas, finally a trip with my best friend that was Hangover worthy fun!

A year of commuting via private plane - not a bad gig if you can get it, folks!

Treating my mom and my niece to a trip to LA and Disneyland, complete with lunch at Club 33!

My solo trip to Seattle - such a cool experience!

Standing on the sidelines of a NFL game (Texans v Saints) thanks to my good friends K & A

I got to say hi to Drew Brees and watch both teams as they warmed up before the game!

Seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time ever!

My visit to FIDM - one of my now favorite places in LA.

Whale watching with my brother in the Channel Islands

Taking my mom and brother to see the Sequoia National Forest - dream come true

Visiting my best friend in Denver for my birthday - and she treated me to a Denver Broncos game!

Where I got to see my favorite QB, Peyton Manning, in the flesh! So cool!

(Fun fact - I just won a mini helmet signed by Manning at an LAPD Celebrity Charity Poker event!)

And speaking of celebrities...

Meeting Lou Ferrigno - The Hulk! Such a nice, friendly guy.

Meeting one of my favorite actors, Ponyboy (and Dewey) himself - C. Thomas Howell

And meeting my favorite actor from my favorite TV show - Michael Cudlitz from SouthLAnd 

(he was also Tony Miller in 90210 - swoon - and Bull from Band of Brothers)

I have to look at these pictures from time to time to remind myself that even when things look bad, I have been pretty fortunate over all. I am thankful to have a good job, a wonderful family, and a terrific circle of friends who allow me to be me, support my decisions, and help me experience levity even during difficult times. I am so, so blessed and will never for a moment take anything for granted.

I feel much better, and am off to bed. Good night, my lovelies!

Until next time...

--- Becks