The Climb

"Kilimanjaro is a snow-covered mountain 19,710 feet high, and is said to be the highest mountain in Africa. Its western summit is called the Masai 'Ngaje Ngai,' the House of God. Close to the western summit there is a dried and frozen carcass of a leopard. No one has explained what the leopard was seeking at that altitude." -- E. Hemingway 

If you follow my other blog, you already know that I have committed the majority of my year so far to hiking. While it's been a lifetime hobby of mine, I only recently got back into hiking after a long hiatus while I started my career. (Houston and New Orleans are surprisingly void of hills to climb... lol). My hikes were casual at first - mostly with my dog and/or with Shika, and primarily in the Hollywood Hills (Griffith Park). Last year, I started tackling longer, more challenging hikes as I found it helpful for my half marathon training. Speaking of, I completed three of those last year, along with several 5 and 10K races! Who am I?

Anyway, in January of last year, I posted a picture of me and my dog that got "liked" by Girls Who Hike LA. This hiking group was founded on December 31, 2015 by a girl looking for more girls to hike with in the LA area. I figured that while I didn't live in the LA area, I'd definitely be up for meeting girls to hike there so I quickly joined! There were just under 200 members at the time, and I was anxious to join them for a hike. At the time, it just seemed like something fun to do; I had no idea how this "little hiking group" would change my life! By April, I became a Moderator of the then 1,000+ member strong Facebook group. By November, I was planning my first group hike. In March, I helped kick off a chapter more local to me (Central Valley), and I've since led or co-led 3 group hikes! It's amazing to me how many kind, wonderful people I have met through this group, and what a difference it has made in my overall wellness.

The community as a whole has been terrific. It has challenged me in more ways than I can count, and has taught me how to be a better hiker, communicator, boss, and friend. It also taught me how vastly underprepared I was for hikes I was doing in my teens and twenties. I've been incredibly humbled by the mountain a few times this year, and that's exactly why I'm writing this post.

Earlier this year, I decided to sign up to hike Mount Baldy (Mount San Antonio) for charity. Before climbing this mountain, I had climbed several others... some with more impressive elevation. I had climbed a 12-er in Colorado, and several 8-9K mountains in California before my climb. But... I was still scared of this mountain. It had killed several experienced hikers already in 2017, and we were taking the dreaded Devil's Backbone route to the summit. While the climb was strenuous, it was that backbone that nearly did me in. I panicked; I cried. I told myself and several others in my hiking group that I just "couldn't" finish it. But I was persuaded to push-on. And thanks to a couple of wonderful girls... I did! I summited with minutes to spare for the fundraiser timeline. 

Since that summit, however, hiking just hasn't been the same. I have continued to hike regularly, but my confidence took a really big hit. After a challenging backpacking trip during which I struggled with back pain and heat exhaustion, I was very concerned that hiking isn't a good fit for me anymore. And with my upcoming trip to climb Mount Kilimanjaro looming... I guess you can say that I'm not as self-assured as I was when I signed up for this thing.

I have recently read several stories from girls I know whose confidence has similarly been shaken. There have been several girls who couldn't summit Baldy due to fears similar to mine. Other friends have tried to summit various peaks, but have turned around for one reason or another. And then there's my best friend... She really loves hiking and being outdoors, but her health has made it difficult to do hikes she previously would have breezed through. So why do I share these stories?

I am flying to Tanzania on Friday to climb to the top of the Roof of Africa (Kilimanjaro) with several of these friends. We all have different backgrounds and fitness levels, and each of us has committed to this climb for reasons that are our own. And while I sat here earlier today dreading packing for this trip, I suddenly remembered why I hike in the first place. I never started hiking for the pictures or the bragging rights. I hike because I love it. I enjoy how it makes me feel, and love spending my time out in the wilderness. Sure, I've struggled on a hike or two, but each hike is unique, no matter how many times you've climbed it. Yesterday, two friends and I climbed Mount Pinots and Sawmill Mountain, and I did just fine. EVERYONE huffs and puffs when they're climbing a steep grade - even those that were climbing past us. Hiking it yesterday felt a lot different than hiking it in June, and that's what makes it fun! It was hotter, and the air was smokier, but the company was fun and the others on the trail were friendly too!

So as I sit here contemplating my trip to another continent, I am pledging to be kind to myself when I start my hike next week. If Kilimanjaro was easy, everyone would do it. It's going to be hard. I'm going to get grumpy, and I'll probably find some days are harder than others. BUT... if I can remember this, I should be just fine: No one is racing me to the top of the mountain. This hike is my hike, and I'm allowed to enjoy it. I can take a million pictures, or I can take none. What I will do, however, is be present in every waking moment I have during my time on the mountain. I will try to remember each sound, each smell, and each view. And if I don't summit? That's ok. Hiking has always been about the journey anyway. I have several friends to thank for reminding me of this tonight, and hopefully you know who you are if you're reading this. In the meantime... 

Afya!! (Cheers!) Hopefully I'll have the energy to update this blog upon my return :)

Until we meet again...

Becks