Saturday, August 25, 2012

So Fresh, and So Clean!

Better keep yourself clean and bright; 
you are the window through which you must see the world - G. B. Shaw

The last couple of days have been so strange! After my last post, I have been fighting off the urge to allow myself get into a funk. Work has been challenging (in both good and sometimes awful ways), family has been stressful, and my self-confidence has been shaken. What gives?

Yesterday, I was fortunate to have my friends for work invite me out for a night on the town. Well, a night out... which is as much as you can do in the town that I live in. (I miss the city!) First, we went to a cute wine dive in the middle of a strip mall on the suburb-ish side of town. They had a two-person jazz ensemble that was fantastic. The girl reminded me of a friend from Albuquerque... actually, the entire experience reminded me of good times I had back home. It was awesome, and they even played one of my favorite sad jazz songs:

I know it sounds sad, but it totally fit my mood. Not that I let that ruin our fun though! After a couple of hours, we left and went closer to our side of town to this random burger joint called Eureka. Eureka is famous for its burgers... and it's impressive whiskey selection. I'm not much of a drinker, but both of the girls decided to try the $22 whiskey flight. Woo, did that put some hair on their chest. Just smelling it made me woozy! I stuck with a local favorite called The Real McCoy, an Amber from Mammoth Brewing Company. Not a bad beer at all, but a little sweet for my taste. I wouldn't call it a "girly" beer... but a little sweet nonetheless. 

The Real McCoy (with a glimpse of the whiskey flight in the back)

All in all, it was a good night and I had a great time. Today, I woke up happy and eager to start my day. The morning started well... I had a good (albeit hot) walk with my dog, had a nice enough lunch, and had fun with a Facetime chat with my nieces. I was pretty darn happy!

This afternoon, however, I had a couple of issues come up (that I won't get into on here) that really brought me down quick again. Have you ever felt powerless when things were happening to others that were beyond your control? Or does that only happen to me? Sigh.

My brother and I went out to dinner this evening, and he let me vent about what happened this afternoon. It was very therapeutic, and I left dinner with a clearer mind in addition to my full tummy. We stopped by Target, and I got my groceries for the week for under $100 which was awesome. I came home, threw some clothes in the washer, and jumped in the shower. 

I don't know if it was the stress from the week, the hot water, or the smell of the Field of Flowers by Philosophy bath gel I was using, but the entire experience felt a-mazing! I didn't do anything out of the ordinary... but I did allow myself to just feel the water hit my skin. I let the water and soap wash away the feelings of powerlessness I had been having. I let myself breathe in the light, crisp smell of the shower hitting the shower floor. And I watched as my poor self-image went down the drain. It felt good,  and I felt ok for the first time in the last couple of nights. 

You see, despite what happens in my life, I know that I have the power within me to choose to be happy, or to wallow in my sadness. I don't see the point of wallowing when there is so much in this world, and this life, for me to be grateful for! So today... and for as long as I can... I am consciously choosing to be happy! Isn't that what we all want anyway? Why not just make it so! 

Well, I'm off to finish laundry and to head to bed. Big plans for my Sunday! Hope y'all have sweet and pleasant dreams.

Until next time...

--- Becks

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